GAME SIX REPORT: SSC 0 – REAL ESPANA 2 and… THE HEACOCK THAT ALMOST MADE HISTORY May, 27th 2012
Sorry folks that game six summary is fairly somber compared to last week’s report. If you are short on time don’t miss the report on Brian’s history making penalty shot attempt in the last section. The somber tone?…It’s partly due to the fact that we were simply out classed by the best team in the division. No excuses… No one to blame… We lost to a better team. We put up a respectable fight but it was no match for their excellent passing and dribbling up through the midfield. We sorely missed the firepower of Greg F, Greg C, Stephen and Baron and our streaky but injured Winger, Izzy).
This was a game in which my personal highlight was defiantly pointing to their prodigiously speedy, skinny as a rope European midfielder who made a shot attempt and then three seconds later made an even worse attempt at diving in the goal box – the ref didn’t buy it. Like a real big man, I pointed my finger at him while he lay on the ground and I said,
“You’re Diving… I don’t like that”.
He got up and with disdain on his face and chin held high says to me, “You will NEVER be as FAST as me”. I did not expect this zinger of a dagger and remained silent… but of course in my mind I thought… “You little fucker… of course your scrawny 31 year old ass is faster… No duh.” Now lets play some soccer 
The other reason for the more lucid mood is that Ignacio quote en quote “FORGOT” the bag of Mate powder that so helped our team last week and inspired fiery imagination of this game report author. Apparently Jimmy saw the bag in Ignacio’s car after the game. This purposeful act of deceit and negligence (along with injuring a teammate in practice) coupled with his attempt to get Red-Carded in the first 120 seconds of play has made us question his loyalty to the team… plus Larz heard him speak Spanish to the referee with a strange Chilean accent (do we need any more proof to dust off the Bad Apple policy for such (in Rick’s words) “Diabolical” actions?).
Thank Goodness We Have a Mohel On Hand
On an uplifting note the day was characterized more by events off-the-field than the game itself. Eytan brought his eight day old baby boy to the game for a very emotional and spiritual early morning Bris ceremony held amongst the shelter of Redwood trees not more than a few yards South of Ragle Field #4. The intimate ceremony was attended by a few of us men who arrived early at 8am for the special occasion (after this I have just about seen it all here in Sebastopol – in terms of New-Age bastardizations of sacred 1000 year old cultural traditions). It was not for the feint of heart (gentiles you can Google Brit Milah) but we felt honored that Eytan took our Thursday practice jabs about not inviting us to the Men’s blessing way to heart. Arie gets credit as he gave Eytan proper reassurance that he was once a semi-professional Mohel (for those who do not know Arie’s past… that was in the days before the 1967 Summer of Love when he realized he would rather clip trees and bushes as a landscaper (Yes drinking the Kool-Aid can change careers).
WHAT ABOUT THE GAME? Did we lose? I forgot already.
MINUTE 1 to 43… Pressure, Pressure, Pressure by Real Espana… Some excellent saves by Rick in goal box… Notable one being the time when three “offsides” forwards, unchallenged, dribbled to about ten feet from goal. As he came in Rick stared him down not committing to an angle… and the oncoming striker broke under pressure and could not decide what to do until he blew his last minute dead on shot to the right. A few nice counter attacks by SSC.
MINUTE 44… Another penalty called outside the goal box against SSC. Great shot on goal by Real Espana. Bounces off keepers hand. No teammates to help… Real Espana player runs in from the wall to hit the ball back into the net. The intense display of emotion and whooping and hollering from the lucky fellow was evidence that Real Espana was getting very nervous about not scoring after 44 minutes of play. So we made them worried… that’s a positive!
MINUTE 75… Real Espana hits a beautiful high arcing bouncing ball right down the middle of the field between two (nameless) defenders and the striker taps it in for goal number 2 (I was pleased that I was able to identify the bird that caught my eye circling above during that unfortunate moment, it was a Red-Tailed hawk. Yes, all three of us back there felt we should have stopped it.
MINUTE 80… THE HEACOCK THAT ALMOST MADE HISTORY
There is always a game highlight right? Well we had ours during minute 80. Real history in the making… or so we thought. After ten good minutes of pressure by SSC we get the break we need… a foul in the box by Real Espana. Penalty kick awarded to SSC.
Brian, being our coach and inspirational leader, knew at that moment that we needed something special to lift our spirits. No ordinary penalty kick was going to do it. So he dusted off a move that was so audacious and bold that it had not been tried in some 20 years (except for a few Eastern European soccer clubs who still practice it to this day during penalty shoot-outs). Brian grabbed Ryan and whispered, “I am going to do THE HEACOCK” (At least this is what Ryan told me).
After the game we learned that this was a move with such a high degree of difficulty that Brian had not tried it since he did it with smashing success to win his final high school game at the 1984 Regional North Bay Championship game. The idea for the set piece tactic came from an Alcohol fueled dare made by Ben Ziemer the night before after downing what was then known as a Ziemer Chaser, where the party host cuts a soccer ball in half and inserts a tube at the bottom then fills it with beer… no need to explain the rest. Needless to say Brian agreed to try it if the opportunity arose. And it did and Brian’s shot was the stuff of local soccer legend for years until Micheal Jackson’s Thriller video came out and all was forgotten.
As we learned, THE HEACOCK is a daring set piece stunt where the penalty shot taker intentionally rebounds the ball off of the goalie to his on-rushing accomplice who taps it in goal… AMAZINGLY Brian almost pulled it off. Ryan let the team down by miffing the execution and shanking the ball over the net. HATS OFF TO BRIAN… Had Ryan knocked it in we would have been fired up beyond belief and Sonoma County Mens Soccer League history would have been made. (Sorry for throwing you under the bus Ryan – but someone has to call it out).
Good night teammates,
Josh